Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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