I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
