We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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