does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
