he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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