Already got asked if we're dating
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
