it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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