I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
