problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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