took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
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At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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