Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize