Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
