She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
