google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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