Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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