Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
