He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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