im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
