honey bunches of taint.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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