i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
