just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
