im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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