Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
