You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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