dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
