i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
