i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
