Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
