thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
