And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
