I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
