If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
