I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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