Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's the barista slut.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
