singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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