We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
