i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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