Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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