So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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