i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
