He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
