She announced her abortion via fbk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
