wakey wakey hands off snakey
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
