U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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