jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
