windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
