I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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