Pappa wants mamma naked
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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