Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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