I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
