Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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