She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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