I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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