so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
