i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My life is pants optional.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
