Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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