I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
