i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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