youre lurking in front of me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
