My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
