would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
