so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
